Hi, I am Catherine and I am currently readjusting to life without gambling. Jan 29th, 2007 will mark my 10th-year in recovery, but always remember where I have come from with betting habit.
I lost my loved ones, my jobs, my honour, everything except my marriage; It took up my finances, and I almost killed myself. In the meantime, I was additionally experiencing undiscovered mental and passionate medical problems and clutters I had no clue about until 2002.
I crawled my way from the darkness, depression, and emptiness.
My First Unsuccessful Self-Murder Attempt
I opened my eyes in a room at the hospital, I could feel my wrist wrapped up in bandages, I heard people talking about knives, but I lost conscious again. All I could recall was everything seemed dark and I faded myself away to emptiness. Now I realize I was experiencing mind and body failure. A psychological or emotional loss of consciousness. After that, I went to see a dependence/emotional crisis centre.
I was under suicide supervision the first days in the clinic. After a little while, I got help from the psychiatrist there. And of course, since I was also a compulsive gambler, I needed extra treatment. So, I began to work with a dependence counsellor also.
Before that, I tried to cure my gambling addiction on my own because I felt like I could hold myself, but it did not work, I got back to gambling several times, even when I was in the treatment centre. I suppose I had not arrived at the lowest point yet.
Regardless of my extended stay in rehab and my several efforts to end it all.
What Was Improper With Me?
My situation was a clear case of an Addiction. It is an illness and a problem that is hard but possible to get over. What's more, this wasn't my last time I would work this circuit.
In some years later, I tried to end my life not due to gambling specifically rather my imprudence relating to monetary issues, and this showed the flaws in the effort I put into getting better physically and mentally.
Principal step? Draft out a roadmap to your desired wellbeing. But in 2006 I as well just required to be normal, live life in recuperation without having to take medications for psychological/emotional problems. So, I discontinued using them believing it was only the betting that was causing my mental sickness issues of PTSD, manic depression, mild mania verbosity and bipolar sleeplessness cycles and OCD. All in all, inside two weeks of no meds? I had returned to serious misery and self-destructive. The way I handled it by taking the pills at once dragged me back to the dark side of emptiness again.
Back in the healthcare facility, another 16-day crisis base stay and days of self-destructive observation.
On my discharge from the hospital, I learnt an important lesson which is always to take my medicines to preserve my sanity and psychological welfare often regarded as a two-way diagnosis.
Along with the bitter moments in recovery, when they remind me to have faith, I took some life lessons out of it. In the event that we are not learning them, we won't see our development. Even when you are not taking part in your choice of dependence, we can yet have issues come up and life troubles in recuperation, so being ready is crucial.
Where Can I Be Going With This Part Of My Story?
First, the usual behaviours when we struggle with the addiction needs to be cut and give ourselves a chance to really recover ourselves, believe that we can change the habits. Balance is the key in your recuperation way also. Taking in the aptitudes and instruments in treatment and treatment to break the cycle of enslavement and clear a way to dissipate control, foreswearing, reasons, and that's just the beginning.
Second, know that recovery is not an instant process. It is as necessary to agree as Step one, complete surrender.
Third, an essential 'Relapse Prevention Plan' in a tactical and strict form, to stay recovered for a long time and avoid starting the process all the way from the beginning. No one can claim ignorance of occurrences in their lives. Not just the bad and bitter moments, there are also beautiful and sweet ones.
I feel it is the reason Gamblers Anonymous put the question forward in our combo book of "The 20 Questions" to know if you have an issue with betting. One of the questions in some of those websites is "Have you gambled at any point in time to commemorate a measure of success you attained?" It is an absolute YES! For me. When I got good fortunes, my first thought was to celebrate and have fun by gambling. However, my dependence was very serious I required anything I could pick up to recover, not only Gamblers Anonymous.
I utilized my gatherings and links there for my help and listening to other similar-minded dependents and have my thoughts of how subtle and crafty this ailment is. And GA made me know how necessary it is to be available for others through recovery service as others were there for me when I was a newcomer.
We have to begin a discussion about this still hush, hush dependence. Let's break up the "myths" concerning it. It is one way to break the "stigma" surrounding it, and surrounding those who live dual diagnosed also. Truly, managing a psychological trauma while striving to attain a state of physical well-being is exacting; however outlining my travails, makes it clear that attaining a state of physical and mental well-being is feasible and every individual struggling with a rehab can have a life of laughter and happiness even during the rehabilitation period.